Laying It On The Line

So, here I sit – 31 years old – on the downward spiral to 32 in a few months — and about to embark on the treacherous path of dating again. Am I insane! I might be a few years older, but hardly any the wiser…

A girl is supposed to have fun – and eventually settle down & have kids right?. It’s supposedly natural. I think that I missed out on that gene, or spent far too much time having “fun” in my twenties that I’ve just worn myself out… But, now that I am finally realising that I am not getting any younger, and as much as I absolutely LOVE my life and my independence – it might be time to realise that perhaps, I don’t want to be alone forever…

Don’t get me wrong – that internal biological clock certainly isn’t ticking loudly in my head. I’m not the most maternal person in the world – give me something furry & fluffy that doesn’t poop its pants and throw up all over your brand new jacket please. Actually, I couldn’t think of a worse person to give a child too. They scare the heck outta me – that’s honestly for you!

I’m not panicking. I may be single and childless at 31 but I am not sweating it as much as some “concerned” people around me. I cringe at that pitying look that people generally give you when you answer their “so, are you married?… how many children?… questions, with” no, still single – but happy”.. What’s with that? Even people who say that they are divorced don’t get that pitying look! It’s almost like some of these people think that there is something “wrong” with me. Is there?

So, at 31 – what are my dating options? Meeting by chance, blind dates, speed dating, internet dating – my head is spinning just thinking about it! What do people do these days. Pubs? Clubs? Yoga? Someone please help me here.

Am I really willing to put myself through all the agony of dating again? The disasters, bad sex and let downs… Can’t I just order a date like I would a coffee?

So, anyway, after building myself up to get back out there & find my so called Prince Charming – out of the blue, I was asked to dinner by a rep that was visiting work. Handsome, charming, sweet, and very manly – and he smells very good, so good… Nervous as hell, I went to dinner with him last night– unsure as to what the expectations are these days, and what the rules are…. Two pink cocktails, a lovely dinner and a kiss (a very nice and a very kiss) goodnight, and it looks like I’m seeing him again on Saturday night! Success! I was a good girl and resisted dragging him inside and jumping his bones! I have known him, but rarely deal with him in a professional sense for about eighteen months, maybe even two years.

Oh geez, the kiss! It’s been a while – I was a little scared that I might have forgotten how to do it! It was nice – and I could have snogged him like a school girl all night! But, he had to work today – and up until 6.30am this morning – I wasn’t sure if I had to work or if I could take my long weekend… (another long story)…

Starting out with dating again, does raise some questions – questions I’m not sure that I can answer. What type of relationship do I want? I supposed it’s going to be like finding the perfect pair of shoes! You’re going to go through so many – suffering blisters, broken heels, squished toes, until you find a pair that fit you “just right”. I know I’m going to have to suffer a bit before I find that perfect fit! But in the mean time – I’m certainly going to focus on having some “fun” (insert cheeky wink & smile here)…